My head keeps saying "No"
But my heart keeps giving in

Your profile here. I'd recommend a short one consisting of just your main identity, because too long a profile makes this looks weird. :)


Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
Monday, November 15, 2010, 12:50 AM

I think it's the time of the month again.
So here I am back at this blog.
I thought the previous time would be the last entry but I guess it isnt the case right now.
I wonder how's things over at your side and I wonder if you feel the same way too.
This gut feeling of mine tells me that you've found someone new.
someone who is way better.
someone whom you gonna treasure
someone who cares for you.
someone who makes you forgot the past.
that special someone who I'll never be.
Be happy.




Thursday, October 14, 2010, 10:42 PM

It's Over
You've made up your mind and I've made up mine too.
In the last few days I kept thinking to myself, what you really want.
Do you really want a break up or was it a rash decision?
I had wanted to ask you but I thought I shouldnt.
I waited for a while more.
True enough you gave me a chance to ask and finally I got the final comfirmation from you.
That comfirmation was so important to me.
I just needed you to tell me what you really want.
And yes, I know the answer now.
It is true, that you never loved me enough to see pass my flaws.

For a few weeks I had a small hope thinking things might change for the better.
So I kept my heart close to everybody who came my way.
Now, I'm letting you go while slowing inching the door open.
That will be a good ending for both of us- to carry on with our lives =)
I wish you all the best.
We'll be friends again in a few mths time.




Monday, September 27, 2010, 8:27 PM

I'm writing this post when i'm at my weakest.
I guess nobody will ever see this post, but I wished one day you'll see it to know how I felt after the break up.
Or do you even want to know how i fell?

Everytime i think back about the past my tears just couldnt stop flowing.
I asked myself, have I cried so much for a guy.
You were someone who love me so unconditionally and I never want to let you go.
When you left, a part of me died.
My life revolves around you and I was happy the way it is.
I would just reserve my free days just for you.

You said I've to learn it the hard way.
Yes it's true I just dont know why but i never learn my lesson.
I never learn my lesson to cherish the guy and be grateful.
I have to give you space cause I know you're confused.
A part of me hope you'll come running back to me but I know that will never happen.
I know once you've made up your mind its final.
Nothing is gonna change your decision.

I felt that is so unfair that when I asked for a break up, you were dying to have me back.
but when the role is reversed now, i wasnt given any chance.
I thought i could try to make it up to you for nasty things I did in the past.
I really wanted to try to change for you. That was how much i want you back.
But i wasnt given the chance to after knowing how much you meant to me.
You said if i wanted to change i would have done it one year ago.
All i can say is im really sorry and i really regret whatever i did.
I regretted skipping lecture to go over to your place, i regretted going out with him, i regretted not checking the shuttle bus timing even though i just woke up.
Its too late everything is over would be what you gonna tell me.

I wanted to spend Christmas, cny, our second anni, your 22nd birthday and my 21st birthday with you. You know i enjoy celebrating those occasions with people I love.
But i guess I'm gonna celebrate it without you in the picture.

I wonder how are you doing.
I am so tempted to msg you.
But i know i cant.
I have to control myself.
Are you feeling relived that everything its over?
Or are you as hurt as i am?
Do you still love me?
Do you still care about me?
Or have you lost all the feelings for me?
I wished you could give me an answer even though it might break my heart to know.

You thought i was always that stone hearted girl.
All these must have taken you by surprise.
I had probably put up a strong front because i dont want you to see me weak.
It's like a shield for me to protect myself.
You gave up your pride but I kept mine till the very end.
I admit i was very selfish.
I know I've brought so much unhappiness to this r/s.
You gave it your all but i didnt.
Why wouldnt you let me make amends?

Another reason why i wanna hang onto this r/s is because i didnt see a need to break up. we could go into a cooling off period or something.
why do we have to break up?
how can you throw away the 19months we had.
You know how much we went through to sustain through those 19 months?
You have be by my side through year 1 in uni like how i've been by your side through your army days.
My feelings have never swayed and I was never interested in any other guys.
Why did you have to give everything up?
I remember once you said lao......zha bo.
When i thought you were about to say lao...po.
It was candid and it made me smile.

When we patch back for a week I felt so happy to be back by your side.
But it was so short-lived.
I thought by patching up it will make our relationship stronger.
And i thought I can show you how much i wanted to change for your sake.
why k.. why?

I can never be so comfortable with any guy just like how comfortable i'm with you.
I dont want to be in any relationship with any guy cause I you're the one i want to be with.
I afraid one day I might see pictures of you and other girls.
I really hope i wont get to chance upon them while i'm healing.
Cause you know how much it will hurt me seeing you move on.

Will you ever talk to me again?
When will you talk to me again?

There is this quote : Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it.

My heart needs to heel.
I'll back here if my heart can't take it.




Monday, January 12, 2009, 11:16 PM

I'm so not gonna blog about tw any time soon.
There's just too many photos and the lappy will get unreasonably cranky.
below are the photos that are long overdued.
I must really thank both MICHELLE CHEAH AND FIE GAN
They are exceptionally reliable and efficient.
I just got off the phone with my darling J and its 230am.
I've to wake up at 6am. AHHHH =/
alright im gna make it short.


Fie's midnight surprise and birthday celebration
The balloons are just soo beautiful. All thanks to her very efficient domestic helper!
woooohoo out we go.
Yes we overslpt cause i only slpt at 530am the night before.
Why am i holding a purple balloon? It shd be green
hmm

While waiting for bus but fie's dad sent us to the mrt station eventually.


pastas!
My carbonara pasta was really filling.
i kept distributing portions of my pasta to everybody.



Sweet Indulgence.
AHA gossip girls, so sorry i made it there ahead of you all! geeeez




I was in my 3inches heels.
That explained the height diff.































credits fie gan.
I shall make you my official photographer!





Make a guess.
I seriously do miss dancing. oh sigh












NIGHT SAFARI!
BRILLIANT MATIN LING'S IDEA
WOOHOO HE CALLED IT TIT FOR TAT
I KNOW I'M A MORON TO BE IN HEELS
BUT!
I DIDNT KNOW WE ARE GOING NIGHT SAFARI UNTIL THE MORNING ITSELF.
AND I ONLY BROUGHT HEELS TO FIE'S PLACE TO STAY OVERNIGHT.
yup you are right.
my feet was aching badly.
this bunch of friends are so accomodating that i felt guilty making them walk at my pace.

The tram that cost us 10bucks.
It doesnt help when the lady guide's voice was utterly unpleasant to the ears.
WE COULNT EVEN DECIPHER WTH SHE WAS SPEAKING THROUGH THE MICROPHONE.
anw it was a good laugh for all of us.




LILING'S 18TH BIRTHDAY
PLS GO TO MICH CHEAH'S BLOG FOR MORE
she did a great job in blogging about every details on that fateful day.
hehehe


Our surprise for our very own liling at her work place.




Tao's restaurant


















Me taking a shot

STANDARD CHARTERED MARATHON








Renee's wedding









do re mi


HE WASNT SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE PICTURE AT ALL.
he suddenly popped in when nerd was about to take a picture of me and my niece.



I'm didnt upload the photos of the wedding dinner itself at Fullerton cause im lazy.
My eyes are sooooo tired and its 3 now.
okay its time to knock out. 3 hours of sleep.
ohoh and i feel like going blading and swimming.
anybody?=)
TAKE CARE EVERYBODY.
Life just cant get any better than this.
This time i cant be wrong.




































































Thursday, January 01, 2009, 8:13 PM

I spent 4hrs just uploading these pictures yesterday and i almost died.




Everything was just so lagged.




To add on to the frustration, i had this fooking irritating pounding headache that never seem to go away.




By 2am i went to bed and i only slept at 7am.



So i decided to write the details of Day2 today, now.




I'm still contemplating if i should upload the rest of the trip.




I dont know it would be this...fun.









OKAY SO HERE COMES DAY 2 =)




We woke up bright and early and had our complimentary breakfast at their cafeteria before setting off!









Mummy and her two sons





Dad thought another long sleeve shirt will be good enough but he was so wrong the min he step outside. He went up again to get his jacket.






DAD & MOM







On the train to the bus station to take a bus to leofoo. Leofoo isnt within Taipei itself so the bus ride would take about 1hr?






Taken by my sis =)



When we arrived at the station, a man approached us saying he would drive us to leofoo and from leofoo to Raohe Night Market at a price slightly higher than the bus ticket itself.



From the station to leofoo :150NT/pax



From the leofoo to Raohe:150NT/pax



I've never met such a reliable and friendly taxi driver..



we took his namecard so we can call him when we need him.




The car ride was about 40mins? Outside leofoo take by the taxi driver.



Entrance fee:690NT/pax





A long walk into the theme park. leofoo is located near the mountain so naturally the temperature was lower.




Very beautiful eh?







There are about 4-5 different themes and this was the first we entered.



Wild west has a very americanish feel to it.






They have really beautiful little statues here and there. Halloween?





Dad didnt really sit the rides cause of some medical reasons. Mum joined us for a few but the more challenging ones she gave it a miss.


But when she was younger she was quite a dare devil.


I guess all the children took after her.






A mini arcade inside











Such a cool christmas tree. Dad looks like a midget beside it










This was the first ride we (all except dad) sat! Okay this is only half of the roller coaster.


Sis knew how the ride will go cause she sat it before.


She didnt mention a single thing about how scary the ride would be.


So we just sat down and waited not knowing wht to expect from it.


The alarm went off, telling us its about to begin.


AND BEFORE WE KNOW IT, WE WERE UP IN THE SKY!


The roller coaster just sped off at a speed of 100km/hr? at our complete ignorance.


It was definitely not a ride to miss! =)





A oldish looking clock. sis and bf at the background.




While waiting for them to take the 360 degrees turn!






Only sister, and the 2 brothers sat the first time cause i was so scared it was similar to the one at escape theme park where i emerged feeling GIDDY(not frightened).


I definitely wont want to ruin my day just because of that one ride.



I actually took a series of pictures showing how it slowing reached the top.


Imagine if the......gave way.


GONE



When they came out, nerd said "wah nicole you should try. damn fun!
So since it does not cause any head spins so i took it with the siblings again!
But this time round i sat with Justin.
Both of us came out and felt that the ride was SOSO LA CHEH!



Obviously i turn down the offer to take this spinning shit.
All except me and Justin went ahead.




This is the first ride that dad took i think



mini ferris wheel?






The small little fast food restaurant we had our lunch at.







This ride that shoots up cant be compared to the space shot in genting.
Genting one is scarier!







We all wore ponchos so that we wont get soak in the dirty water









































































































































































































































FROM HERE ON THERE WILL BE A LOT OF PHOTOS ON ANIMALS
SO IF YOU ARENT A FAN OF ZOO OR YOU HATE ANIMALS THEN
YOU CAN STOP HERE =)



































































































A very sad and miserable looking horse



















































The pony looked like they havent been fed for weeks and probably ill treated.
I initially wanted to ride on them but seeing their lifelessness i just refused to torture them



















































This is the master horse. whenever he/she is around the rest will disperse.





















































we fed the horses with carrots i think!







































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































spot the white tiger






























































a ladybug sis spotted on the steps































































We sat on this train that gave us a tour to see more animals

































































hippo!




































































































































rhino









































































































































tht's sissy's bag the inquisitive ostrich is poking its nose into
















































































































































































































































































































































































































































I think you call this a bull right? correct me if i'm wrong=)





















































































































































































































































































































All these birds are within this enclosure and you must enter. I was so scared the bird would fly pass me and i'll lose my balance.















































































Dad was like"here here nicole, got one bird here. then i turned and this is what i saw."









































































































































































































































































































































my mum found this very hilarious and she kept laughing




































































































































































































































































we left leofoo at 515pm and apparently we were the last to leave.
At one point of time i was actually shivering.
bad idea to wear leggings =/
taxi driver came and pick us up and we went to Raohe Night market for more shopping and dinner.
after all the walking we did foot massage and dad did body massage.
we only got back to the hotel at 1 plus in the morning.
their night market only closes at 12am?
okay i have no pics on that cause my cam died after taking pictures of the ah meng.
Its all in sis's cammy.
I'm actually blogging at 530am in the morning and fie darling's place.
yawnsssss im glad to have my all time fav midnight buddy.
nights people!